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scoupsahoy · 2 years ago

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it's 5am and im up for no reason time for everyones favorite segment: ryan's bad opinion corner

todays episode: stranger things fandom and ficdom pet peeves and things i find silly

disclaimer: it's 5am i'm grumpy and none of these things are worth getting angry about. i don't actually get mad at people who do this stuff or write these things. in fact i love torturing myself but more than that i like to read and sometimes people take these things and make it fun or dramatic and i love drama. most of these are just silly little things. we all have them snd i know for a fact that some people's pet peeve is just like. everything ive ever written

people who can't talk about mike wheeler without making it obvious how much they hate him irrationally. especially in fic. why are you making him so antagonistic towards everyone he is so desperate to be liked. have u seen that kid. have u watched the last four seasons of stranger things

people who can't be normal about billy. real bad opinion corner type shit but like. i wish people could write or talk about him without either excusing how shitty he is OR absolving him of all that. if you make him a cartoon villain you're kind of diminishing how fucked up and racist he was in canon, like that isn't enough to make him a shitty guy and an antagonist on his own. let people explore his character without forcing them to pick between "needs to be tortured to death for his crimes on screen Or Else you're a billy apologist" and "needs to be forgiven by everyone and kiss steve at the end"

not a pet peeve just kind of a thing that makes me tilt my head a bit bc i think it's kind of silly. future fics where dustin and suzie get married... like they met before high school i love suzie so bad but like what is the chance that every single one of the kids in the show is going to be with their middle school sweetheart their entire lives. this opinion does not extend to lucas and max i hope they get married.

when people imply that eddie or robin are biphobic. biphobia exists and is complicated and can be explored in fic or whatever but when i see gay characters who are massively biphobic and only the gay characters who are massively biphobic it sure rubs me the wrong way. gay people are not biphobic by default. ESPECIALLY IF ITS LIKE

fic where steve is literally fucking eddie and eddie's like "man i cant believe hes fucking me and he's straight and doesn't like men at all" like thats not even biphobic at that point like eddie you need to be punched in the head with a blunt object you are just stupid and not in a cute way. i can't read several thousand words of that. no one would act like that even if they were biphobic

when nancy isn't annoying. make her annoying. make her abrasive and judgmental and kind of mean. but also like. don't forget that she's like very smart and helpful and caring and full of guilt and love. you think she can't be good and amazing and also a bitch? god forbid women do anything.

******* just in general but i don't want to be crucified ive already made two deeply inflammatory statements

when people don't love lucas enough. love him more. you are silly.

when you're mad about popular fanon and write an angry fic basically using the characters to make your point for you. and i totally get it. if u hate that trope u can also say hit da bricks. but i can tell how pissed off u were about this while writing and it does not make me agree with u more. in fact it's an interesting enough thought experiment that it can stand on its own and having the argument in the fic where you're basically mad at the fandom makes me less inclined to agree with you or want to keep reading. this is mainly because fic is something that is enjoyable to me when it's written out of love for an idea rather than frustration. you can always tell when the writer is annoyed and it makes it wayyy less enjoyable to read

i feel like that last one was kinda mean (or it was before i took out the particular context bc even though it's unlikely anyone will read this i dont want the person who wrote the thing im talking about to catch wind of it) so im going back to sleep i love you

last one

people who go out of their way to tell an author that their headcanon is unrealistic or their writing pisses them off or they didn't like how something played out or how someone was characterized. get over it please if you didn't like it, it wasn't for you. complain to your friends if you must, not the artist. don't make people feel like shit i'll cut off the roof of your house like wile e coyote and i AM serious about this one

#ryans bad opinion corner

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indiemovies · 2 years ago

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I want the scooby opinions !!!

Not having scooby = unforgivable for Me

THANK YOU i take this opportunity very seriously

ok firstly: i completely agree!!! i mean, they could EASILY have scooby be there and just not talk! but, also, like.....why shy away from the silliness, the cartoon-y nature of it all......if you are a cartoon!!! i know it's made for adults but i mean. i sincerely doubt a dog saying ruh roh every now and then would turn off the adult audience tuning in to watch THE NEW SCOOBY DOO SHOW! i am not a big fan of taking of shows made for children and making them into hard r, for adults stuff. that's just my personal opinion, but it never translates well, it alienates every possible audience, and it comes off as goofier than if they had just played it silly. i genuinely think the live action movies are the perfect example of how to age something up without making it unwatchable for kids, and, more importantly, not getting rid of the humor and hijinks that the show was built on!

i like the character redesigns for the velma show (although i think the animation style is a bit generic and i agree that shaggy's hair is too clean cut LOL) and for the most part i like the casting EXCEPT FOR shaggy and fred which is CRAZY bc sam and glenn are easily two of my favorite comedic actors working today... i just dont know how well they fit the roles? although i think it is very unfair to judge them before i hear them so this may be a total nonissue it was just the main thing that jumped out to me. i really wouldnt care too much but already hearing from people who saw the first ep and seem to not like velma's characterization it concerns me i wont lie. velma is NOT mean (and she wouldnt call the cops over something @ multi versus)!!! she is dorky and driven and definitely very snarky and maybe slightly arrogant but i dont know if she has such a hard edge. i hope the teaser is just poking fun at the audience response and wont be her actual characterization in the show. also slightly unrelated but i just scrolled through the entire velma twitter account and given that the gimmick is that she's the one posting it all i feel the need to say: it does not matter what year it is, velma would suck ass at social media. like if she had a twitter she would use it retweet scientific articles and post pictures of bugs!!!! that's all

and of course, the main event, lesbian velma. i do just want to say i know that most pieces of scooby media are standalones, so velma not being gay in her show does not invalidate her lesbianism in the new movie. however i think it is a huge missed opportunity to not have her be a lesbian in the show that is made for adults and can probably much more easily get away with that given that it is something that has been so heavily theorized about and wanted. that being said, i do have a sneaking suspicion she will be bi in the show (honestly just guttural instinct + tweet about her kissing PEOPLE, not just boys, in the show) which is great if true! but lesbian velma will always be something near and dear to my heart so it is the piece of canon i will probably always hold onto. but apparently she has a crush on FRED???? and is beefing with DAPHNE over it?????? that is just. so. ooc. for like everyone involved. and so mean to people who care about the daphne and velma dynamic? like i love a complicated female relationship, but a) that is just not them, and b)OVER A BOY? OVER FRED??? FRED JONES??????

enough velma hbo talk (though i feel so bad for being so negative, i despise hate trains before stuff even comes out so i will say i will definitely give it a chance and i like that they are doing something different with it and having some fun with the characters and premise!!) i have not seen trick or treat scooby doo YET but i really like the animation and the velma scenes<3333 so perfect

AND that is just everything off the top of my head MWAH LOVE YOU

#i do wonder what daphne will be like in the new show since she is the character different creators seem to struggle with the most #hence her drastically different characterizations across different movies and shows #but she is my very special girl so. i hope they are kind to her #IM SORRY scooby doo is like. my favorite ip ever. i love those meddling kids i do!!!!#i hope the velma show is good BC I WANT SCOOBY STUFF TO BE GOOD!!!!! and there are a lot of funny people working in it so!#answered #anonymous

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morning-star-whump · 3 years ago

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Smile for the Camera! 3

Chapter 3: Getting to Know Each Other

Masterlist || Previous

Introducing our whumper >:)

CW: Kidnapping, intimate whumper, panic attack, drugging mention, torture mention, threatening family

Tag List: @livingforthewhump @thecitythatdoesntsleep @thebaffledtiewriter @whumpkinpie @pretty-writing-things @make-it-gay-please @onlywhump @heeheehooho0 @basicallyachild2004

Everything was foggy. The room was dark, yet Alex could see it spinning– wait, what room? Where was he? Why did his head hurt so bad? He reached up to cradle his head, but his hand recoiled when it felt flakes of… blood. His fingers were covered in smears of crimson. What happened?

His mind began to focus. He could hear the rattle of the chains his arms and legs were attached to. Why am I chained up? WHY AM I CHAINED UP?

His vision began to clear. The room was still dark, but he could make out some objects. A wooden table in the center. Knives on the wall. A computer and camera. Items he couldn’t identify, but hoped he wouldn’t get acquainted with. Stairs to his right. A door on the left side leading to god knows where. He was in the corner, chained to the corner.

The darkness was swallowing him up. He couldn’t move. It wasn’t just the chains. He was frozen. This can’t be happening to me. I’m just a kid. I watch silly little cartoons and buy silly little merchandise. I can’t be locked up in some sicko’s basement.

Alex noticed his breathing speeding up. He was hyperventilating. He wasn’t getting enough oxygen. He gasped for air, but it was never enough. The room started spinning again. He was shaking. He began to taste salt on his lips and noticed the tears flooding down his face. This can’t be happening to me. Why is this happening to me? WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

“Help…” he whispered. He couldn’t bring his voice to be heard. “Please help me. God, help me, I can’t, I can’t…”

He descended into panic as the memories from the night before started flooding back to him.

He had been attacked. He had helped a man he thought was homeless, and the man pointed a gun at him. He didn’t even think to use his pepper spray, God, he was so useless. Then, the man had smashed a jar over his head. And now, he was in that man’s cellar, wasn’t he?

He had been kidnapped.

Alex continued rocking back and forth, his head in his knees. The crying made the pounding in his head worse, but he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t calm down. There was nothing to be calm about. He kept whispering pleas to himself, knowing it was futile. Let me out of here, please let me out, I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, I don’t want to know…

He went silent when he heard a creaking noise. A door at the top of the stairs had opened. Light flooded in from the upstairs until it was suddenly cut off with a slam. He heard footsteps coming down the door. Someone was coming towards him. Someone’s coming for me.

The footsteps were getting closer. Then they stopped.

“Look at me, Alex.”

The voice was right in front of him now. How does he know my name?

“I said, look at me.”

Alex slowly raised his head to see the man from the alley crouched down, smiling at him. Not a kind smile. A smile like a predator that had just captured its prey. His hair was neatly brushed back now, and his suit looked far out of Alex’s price range. He balanced on his black leather boots.

The man grabbed his chin. He tilted Alex’s head from side to side, examining him. “You’ve been crying, haven’t you?” He tutted. “I haven’t even done anything to you yet.”

Another tear rolled down Alex’s face. What is he going to do to me? He tried to speak, but only stutters came out. “I… I… please…”

“Can’t even talk right.” The man sighed. “What’s the fun in breaking what’s already broken?”

“W-what?” Alex sobbed.

“Do you want me to kill you?”

“NO! No, nononono, please don’t–”

“Then stop acting so pathetic,” the man said, annoyed. “I’d like to be able to enjoy watching you break.”

Alex trembled with fear, beyond terrified at this point. “Who are you?” he managed to choke out.

“Nathan Carlton,” the man responded nonchalantly. Alex furrowed his brow. Why would he tell me his full name? As if reading his mind, Nathan answered, “Doesn’t matter. Not like you’re going to make it out of here alive.”

Alex’s breathing sped up again. “What are you going to do to me?”

Nathan chuckled. “You’ll be my little plaything for however long you can last.” Alex shuddered at his casual tone. “I hurt you, livestream it on the dark web, and get paid for it. Got it?”

Alex nodded slowly. He’s going to hurt me. But he’s going to livestream it. That means someone will see it. Someone will find me. Someone will get me out of here. Someone please get me out of here.

“And don’t even think about trying anything funny,” Nathan continued, studying his nails. “You wouldn’t want anything happening to your precious mother, Selena Diaz, or your boyfriend, Jordan Fielding, would you now?”

Alex’s blood ran cold. How long has he been following me? Does he know where I live? “How do you know–”

“I did my research.” Nathan got to his feet and began walking out of the room, finally. He turned back to look at the shivering figure beneath him. “Alex, I think you and I are going to make great friends.”

The minute the door closed, Alex let himself fall back into a hysteria of sobs. The darkness was back. Swallowing him up. Closing in on him.

Alex never liked the dark.

#whump #whump writing #whumpblr #whump fic #original writing #original characters #my ocs #alex diaz #nathan carlton #jordan fielding #selena diaz #smile for the camera #kidnapping #panic attack #whumper #whumpee

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ichayalovesyou · 4 years ago

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Why Does God Need A Starship? (Live Reaction):

I always thought Sybok was cool and interesting and NOW I’m sure! You know it’s times like these that I’m grateful I kinda came back into the Star Trek fandom on my own, because I don’t have to deal with Opinions of older/louder Trekkies. This one kinda has a lukewarm reputation but I’m getting the vibe that I’ll genuinely enjoy it.

Yet again Bones is serving up some LOOKS damn! Look at these elder gays! Spock has rocket boots, amazing. “Because it’s there” and then falling off the goddamn mountain is such a James Tiberius Kirk thing to do 😂 “HI BONES!” These guys omfg. OH MY GOD SO WE DO SEE CAITIANS OUTSIDE THE CARTOONS?? Hell yeah! Also pole dancing to no music, is... weird. Lmao. Also okay I’m sorry Sybok is cool! Sybok is cool and interesting and I really like him! (Not morally obviously dude is shady as all fuck, but a cool dude nontheless!) Always fascinated by Cult Leader type villains, especially when they point out valid criticisms about the society from which they came (important distinction is that the CAUSE is not vilified, but the person and their means, something M****l has largely forgotten)

Awww I may ship Hikura, but Uhura & Scotty are also cute as hell!! Awwwwwww!!!! Old married couples can be so freaking cute. Chekov & Sulu are LOST ohhhh my god this is hilarious, these two idiots. Also can we talk about how Koenig’s eyebrows are slowly gaining sentience and Takei aged like fine wine? Lol. THE HOLY TRINITY OF ELDER GAYS ARE CAMPINGGGG! I’m- oh my god they’re so cute. “Marshmelon” this is cute as hell oh my god. They’re indulging and messing with Spock at the same time I’m dead! They’re singing ohh my god this gonna give me cavities with how sweet it is!!!

This Klingon dude is frickin ROCKING the eyeliner! Bruhhhh was the frickin spotlight necessary! Leave the gays alone SHHHH they’re SLEEPING!! Lmao. Yo I’ll be real this movie starts incredibly slowly but I seriously do not mind, it’s relaxing to not have to worry about missing important details if you look away for a second, it’s nice. WAIT? Does Jim’s shirt say GOT MILK?!!? Oh no, it says go climb a rock, oh thank god [“fatty milkers” flashbacks]

Seriously McCoy is just radiating so much old southern lady/gay energy in this movie and I love it so freaking much “if you ask me (and you haven’t) this is a horrible idea” he sounds like my North Carolina living Meemaw. Wow you can see Spock low-key taking psychic damage from seeing Sybok 😲 V’tosh Ka’tur of the highest order huh? Still disturbing that his government literally cast him out, that’s a red flag 😬. What happened with Sybok is probably a lot of why Spock was pressured to be as Vulcan as he was, I’m sure Sybok was a massive scandal/shame for Sarek, and knowing him, he’d end up making that his kids’ problem not his 🙄

Oh neat!! Chekov is in the in the captain’s chair. Oh this is the song they replaced Nichols’s voice for 😤 but also GIRL THAT WAS BADASS AND THAT SONG WAS A BOP! Quick question, wow these “alien” horses are somehow even worse than the unicorn dog (also it’s a desert planet, wouldn’t it be better to have, like, alien camels or something?) This dude’s Klingon is freakin impeccable btw! He’s really got the vibe down! Jim did you forget how fuckin bananas strong Vulcans are??? Sybok went like 😡☹️ when Spock pointed that laser rifle at him 😂😂😂 again even tho I know Scotty and Uhura are married but it’s scenes like getting held hostage right there where they radiate such POWER COUPLE energy GAWD! 🤩

Stay out of this Bones we’re having a lover’s quarrel! Jim is taking fucking psychic damage from this entire conversation lol. Okayyyy whatever Sybok is doing is definitely some kind of mind control type thing, that shit is creepy af no thank youuuuuu (spores anyone?). Oh my god Spock & Jim are so married lmao, that “I’m sorry” Vulcan kiss in the brig man Aw. (Oh man Magic’s of mega-tsu got devani mixed by that comment lame!) SCOTTYYYYYY!! YAS!

Yay rocket boot glomp! Lmfao! Sybok needs to brush up on his earth history Columbus did NOT figure out the world is round 🙄 Ah Scotty being like “listen, you’re not okay rn so I’m not really down for whatever you think you wanna do right now it can wait until you’re right in the head again” and they could’ve not done that and it would’ve been creepy (especially by today’s standards) but they didn’t! And that was awesome!

Bones being skeptical and has every right to be! He’s faced down would be gods and would-be messiahs before! Also I’ve seen people judge Bones for being the first to cave but Sybok totally did that shit to him without consent! He didn’t go back on his beliefs, Sybok forced him to! BONES PROTECTION SQUAD IS HERE AND ITS ME! Oh Bones, man, poor babeyyyy (fuck Sybok!) 😭😭😭 OH MY GOD BONESSSSSS Sybok leave him alone! Goddamnit! Leave him alone!

I think Jim can see Spock’s Sybok induced vision cuz they’re ✨Bonded✨ (it didn’t seem like they could see Bones’s, other than what Bones was doing). JIM KNOWS SO MUCH BETTER! ITS HOW HE BEAT THE SPORES ITS HIS CORE! I UNDERSTAND AND LOVE HIM FOR IT!!! Spock 😍😍😍 he’s like, you’re bullshit happiness pill doesn’t work on me cuz I am whole for the first time in my life, and I love my husband, and I already learned my lesson decades ago 💚🖖🏻💚 (who knew how important the character development from This Side of Paradise AND Return To Tommorow would be??? Hell yeah!)

I love Scotty so much 🥰 hardcore badass Hufflepuff from beginning to end! Also I hope Sybok appears in SNW that could be really really interesting if they do it right! ITS GOD (derogatory) REVERE HIM! Oh here comes that legendary question!! “What dies God need with a starship?” Red flag don’t call Jim a creature! Oh shit god has laxer eyes oh no lmao! Bones snaps out of whatever Sybok did to him when “God” hurts his friends and we LOVE HIM FOR ITTTT! Awww Spock & Sybok and be saaaaad, oh shit! Into the lightning to fight a mirror of yourself like Lazarus in that one episode!

OH SHIT THE KLINGONS ARE HERE! Oh damn Spock just swore a cuss the right way, at a Klingon General no less! General dude just went “caotain tell Kirk you are sorry!” LMAO! NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS 😂😂😂😍 KISS DAMNIT!! God this whole after scene is so good, maybe the god is the friends we made along the way. “I lost a brother once” you also lost SAM dummy, I know you were just telling Spock you love him but still. SHUT UP SPOCK IS PLAYING ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT ON HIS LYRE??

Okay, seriously, I unironically love this movie, it might be my favorite out of the ones I’ve seen so far actually. TMP felt like the movies getting their sea legs, but it was slow and messy, it wasn’t as thought provoking as it wanted to be (aside from Spock’s wonderful arc in that film). WoK & TSFS are amazing for drama and angst and Spirk content, but they weren’t really asking the big questions Star Trek is wonderful for. Then The Voyage Home is just plain silly and fun and wholesome. But this, this movie had depth! The whole premise is “what is god and is there is one?” I LOVE that as someone who has a very complicated relationship with spirituality. I also already loved the TOS episodes This Side of Paradise, Return To Tomorrow, The Omega Glory and The Way To Eden, and this movie had the best of those concepts! Sybok was such a fascinating antagonist/anti-hero and I hope we get to see him explored more on screen one day, even if it’s just through Discovery/SNW flashbacks. It may have started off slow and it’s not without its flaws but this felt like the Star Trekkiest TOS Star Trek movie so far!

#star trek #star trek v: the final frontier #the final frontier #why does god need a starship #star trek tos #tos liveblog #liveblogging #Sybok

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transromansanders · 4 years ago

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We Can Live Forever, If You’ve Got the Time: Chapter One: Roman’s Life Does a Backflip Unsuccessfully

AO3: Link

WC: 3,229

Ships: Rosleepxiety, Intrulogical, Moceit, Pintroverts

Warnings (chapter): homophobia, gun violence, minor character death, blood

A/N: Hey, So this has been in the works for a while. I’m finally in a place motivation-wise where I feel like I can get out at least the second chapter in a timely manner. Also! I’m looking for someone to beta read for errors in grammar and continuity. If you feel the urge to volunteer, please do so, I need help ;-;

Chapter 1 under the cut

"Daddy!" a small voice whisper-yelled. Roman groaned, rolling onto his back from his side. "Daddy!" the little voice whined. Roman managed a sleepy smile, but then little hands and knees were pressing into his bare chest and stomach.

"Oof! Emile, you little monster," he groaned, capturing the three-year-old in his arms and rolling back onto his side with Emile next to him, between himself and Alandria, who was snoring, her dark hair framing her face and haloing out on her pillows. Her steel-grey eyes were hidden behind closed lids, and she smacked her lips when Emile rolled over and poked at her face. Roman wished he loved his wife.

Roman spared a look at the alarm clock on his bedside table, groaning again at the time: 3:43 AM on a Monday. "Can we sleep a little longer, Bud?" Roman asked Emile tiredly.

Emile nodded, turning over to face his dad again and curling up against his chest.

Roman wrapped an arm around his son with a smile, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Emile's head. Then he dozed back off again.

----

Roman smacked at the alarm clock as it blared at him, whining softly. Finally, he managed to turn it off, and he began sitting up, rubbing at his eyes.

Next to him, Emile sat up as well with a cute little yawn and Alandria was running a hand over her face, looking at her husband and son with a little smile. "Good morning," she slurred sleepily.

Roman chuckled. "'Morning, sleepyhead."

"Mommy!" cheered Emile, crawling on top of her now.

She groaned a little, sitting up to hold him in her lap. Roman stood, bare toes curling for a moment against the cold white floor. The whole house was cold, cold and impersonal. Roman wished it was warmer. He wished Emile had a home, as a child ought to have.

He lifted the blinds so the sunlight could shine in.

Then he turned back to the bed, smiling. "I'm going to make us some breakfast. How does cinnamon toast sound?"

Emile cheered, and Alandria smiled and nodded. Roman clapped his hands together, grabbed a shirt, and headed to the kitchen, pulling the garment on.

Soon they were sitting around the table with plates of cinnamon toast with fresh fruit in front of them. Emile ate messily, getting strawberry juice and cinnamon-sugar all over his face and hands. Alandria got a wet paper towel and cleaned him up.

Then they were off, Roman and Alandria going to shower and get dressed, Emile sat in front of the TV with cartoons on until one of them got to him to make him put on real clothes rather than pajamas.

Roman showered and dressed first, in a pale red button-up, a black tie, and khakis with black leather shoes. Once he was done, he scooped up Emile, ignoring his protests and wiggling. "Come on, Emmy, gotta get dressed. Then you can ask Mommy if you can watch more cartoons."

Emile let Roman maneuver him out of his pajamas and into a shirt and some pants, giggling away the whole time. Roman poked his nose when he was done. "I bet Mommy's dressed now. Wanna go ask if you can watch more cartoons?"

Emile nodded vigorously and went in search of Alandria, while Roman poured a thermos of coffee to take with him.

Alandria and Emile met him at the door, off to run some errand or another.

"I'll see you tonight," Roman said, pressing a kiss to the top of Emile's head.

"Love you," Alandria said.

"Bye," Roman answered.

----

"Roman!" Patton Casey greeted.

"Morning, Pat!"

That was the extent of his usual personal interactions with the red-haired receptionist, though he relied heavily on Patton for matters of business.

He walked into his shared office, and his partner, Logan Hubbard, was, of course, already there.

"Did you hear about the execution tomorrow?" Logan asked.

Roman raised an eyebrow. "What execution?"

"It's a teenager. They say he was stirring up rebellion among the other youths. And he's openly gay," Logan mentioned. Logan was Roman's closest friend, and one of two people in the whole world who knew Roman's secret. But he had the exact same secret, too.

"Shit," Roman remarked. "Are we going?"

"You are scheduled to be there on behalf of the Governor's office, so yes, you are, but I am staying here," Logan answered.

"Damn, can we trade?" Roman asked.

"Not a chance in hell. Get to work, Picani."

Roman sighed and set about his daily tasks.

One thing that came across his desk caught his eye. An execution order for one Thomas Sanders, age 15… He signed it with a grimace on behalf of his boss, then scanned it and sent it to the other Governors' offices.

Soon lunchtime rolled around. He ate with Logan, and he longed for one of their nights out in the underground gay bars that dotted the bad parts of the city. He and Logan had tried the secretly dating thing, after Logan had started this job, when they'd run into each other at one of said bars. It hadn't worked out; they were better as friends. Today, they talked about how Emile had woken Roman early and different ways Logan had read about to keep kids from doing that. Logan did not have a wife or children; he just liked to read. And, truly, he did want to be a parent one day. That was one thing Roman knew about him from their drunken nights together in Logan's apartment early in Roman's marriage.

When lunch was over, they had a meeting. With Governor Baines. Roman hated those. Governor Baines was a thin, gaunt man with balding grey hair. His skin may as well have been grey, too, with how pale he was.

The conference room was grey as well, unrelentingly so. Roman and Logan each told him the notable things that had been delivered to the office. Governor Baines often asked in a dull voice what they had just said and if they could repeat themselves.

"Oh, and the Sanders execution order came in today," Roman said, trying not to wince.

"Sanders…" Governor Baines mumbled. "Tell me about this Sanders."

"He's fifteen years old," Roman told him. No reaction. Roman sighed. "He's openly gay and has incited rebellion among the kids at his school."

"I presume you signed it."

"Yes, Governor Baines."

"Good lad, Picano."

Roman frowned a little when the Governor got his name wrong. But he didn't correct him.

Then the meeting was over. The next several hours were filled with filing and organizing. Roman talked at Logan about a TV show he and Alandria were watching as they worked. When he finally left, giving a little goodbye to Patton, he was exhausted. It was a good job, but not a fun one.

----

"Daddy!" Emile cried as Roman opened the door, his tie loose around his neck. Roman laughed and bent down to catch the speeding toddler.

"Hi, Emmy! There's my little man!"

"Hi, honey!" Alandria called from the kitchen.

"Oh, let me help!" Roman offered, carrying Emile into the kitchen. "What can I do?"

"Get the chicken in the pan, babe?" Alandria requested.

Emile played on the floor as his parents cooked dinner.

"How was your day?" Roman asked when they were finally sat down to eat.

"Oh, fine," Alandria said. "We just did some shopping, then Emile and I worked some more on the alphabet, isn't that right, Em?"

Emile nodded excitedly. "I can go all the way to 'O'! Listen! A, B, C, D, E, F, um, G, H, I, J, K, um… M N O!"

"You skipped 'L', Baby, but very good job," Alandria said as Roman clapped.

Emile giggled and went back to his food.

Roman didn't know what else to say, nor did Alandria, and Emile was too busy eating to keep up the conversation. So the rest of dinner passed in silence.

When Alandria was finished, she wiped her hands and face on a paper napkin, then stood up. "Okay, Em, bathtime!"

Roman was going to offer to do it, but something stopped him. He wasn't sure what, just that they needed this time together, but he just finished his meal, letting them go. When he was done, he went and got into pajamas and got the show he was watching with Alandria queued up. Finally, he met Alandria outside Emile's bedroom to put him to bed.

They wrestled him into pajamas, Emile giggling and squirming the whole time. Then Roman scooped him up and dumped him on the bed, chuckling. "Okay, Monster. What story do you want tonight?"

"The Tortoise and the Hare!" Emile cried, and Alandria retrieved it from the shelf.

Roman opened the book and began reading in a silly voice. Emile yawned.

By the time Roman was done, Emile was sound asleep.

Roman quietly put the book up and crept out of the room with Alandria.

They sat down on the couch and started their show, the TV on a low volume. Two episodes went by before they decided to go to sleep, wordlessly. They crawled into bed, and Roman was out in moments.

----

"They're having an execution today," Alandria said the next morning after Roman had gotten dressed in his white button-up, khaki pants, dark red tie, and black dress shoes.

He had to wince. "I know. You're not taking Emile, are you?"

"Why wouldn't I? It's a part of life. He has to learn these things at some point," Alandria said.

Roman sighed and nodded. He didn't want to argue. "Maybe I'll see you there. I'm scheduled to go."

The drive to work felt long. He stared at the road ahead of him, feeling irritated for a reason he couldn't place.

Then he was walking into work, coffee in hand.

"'Morning, Pat," he said, voice a bit strained.

"Good morning, Roman," Patton answered, sounding concerned. But Roman had ducked into his office before Patton could ask.

"Good morning, Roman," Logan echoed Patton.

Roman just grunted, sitting down at his desk.

The rest of the morning went along monotonously. Then it was time for lunch. And the execution. He ate, but he didn't taste. He honestly wouldn't have had any idea what he was eating if it hadn't been labelled 'cranberry spinach salad'.

Then he drove to the Execution Courtyard. The parking was a nightmare, as always on execution days. He spotted Alandria's car.

It took him a little bit to find his wife and son, as they were toward the other side of the crowd from the parking lot. "Hi!" he greeted, taking Emile from his wife when the child reached for him with a squeal of "Daddy!"

It was about time for the execution to start. So where…? They were near the entrance where the guards would bring in the prisoner. That's when Roman realized what was happening. There was the boy, Thomas, and another guy, beautiful, with dark hair and sharp features, small and cute, but harsh-looking… and the guards on the ground, and a gun pointed at Thomas. The other guy was trying to pull the teenager away. The gun turned to him. Later, Roman couldn't have said why he'd done it. But suddenly, he was between the man and the gun, Emile gently placed on the ground next to him. And Alandria was between Roman and the gun before the guard had the chance to fire.

Roman, surprised to not be dead, covered in a spray of blood, and largely in shock, picked up his son quickly and cradled him close to his chest, not letting him see his mother on the ground.

"Come with us!" the dark-haired man hissed, grabbing Roman's arm and dragging him and Thomas through alleyways. Roman followed numbly, clinging to his son, who was crying in fear and confusion. They stopped in a dead-end alleyway behind some dumpsters. "Can you get that kid to quiet down?" their savior asked impatiently.

Thomas held out his arms wordlessly, and Roman hesitantly passed Emile over. The toddler quieted pretty quickly, sticking his thumb in his mouth and curling up against Thomas's chest.

"We stay here for two hours, 'til things quiet down, then our ride comes. Get comfortable," the other man said. He looked to be about Roman's age, now that Roman had time to really look.

"Who are you?" Thomas asked slowly.

The man held up a finger to his lips urgently, and several guards ran past their alleyway. A few moments passed, then he said quietly, "Name's Virgil. I work with some people who have a vested interest in keeping you alive, Thomas. Now, I want to know who he is."

Roman gulped. "Um, my name is Roman Picani… I work for Governor Baines's office… except I probably don't do that anymore."

"Probably not," agreed Virgil. "Someone, uh… Someone did get shot back there… Do you know—"

"My wife," Roman said, trying unsuccessfully to blink back tears.

Thomas gasped softly. "I'm so sorry…"

"Can we not talk about it in front of my son?" Roman requested, and Virgil nodded in agreement, looking away.

"Well, you'll be wanted now, Roman. Looks like you and the kid are stuck with us."

Roman nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "I just ruined my life…" he said softly.

"Maybe…" Virgil answered quietly.

"If it makes you feel any better, I ruined mine a few weeks ago," Thomas contributed.

Roman couldn't help a small, bitter chuckle at that. "So… what now?"

"I'll leave it to Patton to explain that," Virgil answered.

"Patton… Not Patton Casey?" Roman asked.

"Yep, Patton Casey. My big brother," Virgil said. "You already know him from the office, then."

Roman didn't know Patton had a brother. And apparently, Roman didn't know a lot of things about Patton, as he was to find out when Patton pulled up at the entrance to the alleyway two hours later in a non-descript black car.

Patton was surprised to see Roman and his son, to say the least. "V, what happened?"

"Almost got shot," Virgil answered quietly. "Roman here tried to take the bullet. His wife took it instead."

Patton covered his mouth with a hand in shock. "Oh, Roman, I'm so sorry."

Roman just took his son back from Thomas silently as they quickly got into the car.

"Well, um…" Patton said. "I guess… Welcome to The Resistance."

----

The Resistance headquarters was a dilapidated house next to Housing Development Number 1. Patton led them all inside, having put Thomas in a baggy hoodie so he wouldn't be recognized. They stopped in the kitchen. The walls were painted yellow, the cabinets were white, and the appliances were old. The backsplash was a gaudily painted tile, and the countertops were light blue porcelain. There was a battered wooden table with mismatched chairs in the corner.

"Alright, Thomas. You can take the room next to Virgil's and mine. Roman and Emile the one next to that," Patton said. "Sorry it's not that much, guys, but… it's what we have." He sighed. "This is always the hardest part. Settling in, getting all new clothes and things. Don't worry, Roman; we can get some toys for Emile."

Roman nodded, holding the now-sleeping toddler closer to his chest.

"You'll stay here for as long as you like, Roman. Until you're settled into this new life, then we can move you to another safehouse that's not so close to the action," Virgil said.

Roman raised an eyebrow. "Exactly how big is this operation?"

"Oh, we have branches all over the country," Patton answered. "This is just HQ for our province's branch."

"Who's in charge here?" Thomas asked.

"You're lookin' at 'im, Kiddo!" Patton said cheerfully.

Roman sputtered for a moment. Sweet Patton was the head of The Resistance in Shaw Province?!

"What?" Patton asked, directing his attention to Roman. He kept up his cheery demeanor as he asked, "Thought I was just the mild-mannered receptionist?" There was a hint of amusement to his tone. "Come on, we'll show you your rooms, then, um… then you can go take a shower, Roman," he said, gesturing for Thomas and Roman to follow him. "Virgil, send Gio or Perce to the store for clothes. Oh! What sizes are you guys?"

Thomas and Roman listed off their clothing sizes, then Roman told them Emile's size as well. Virgil wrote it all down on a pad of paper he grabbed from the table.

"Got it. See ya at dinner, Pat," Virgil said with a little wave.

Patton showed Roman his and Emile's room, and Roman laid Emile down on the bed. The room was fairly empty, aside from bookshelves. When Roman looked a little closer, he realized it was mostly banned books.

He turned back to Patton and Thomas in the doorway, and Patton looked nervous.

"Um, Roman, there's something I haven't told you…"

Roman bristled a little, unsure what to expect at this point.

Patton took a deep breath. "Your brother, Remus, he works with us sometimes."

"Remus… God, I haven't seen him in… years…" Roman mused sadly.

"I know. He told me," Patton said, sounding sad.

Roman nodded. "I… I need to rest…"

Patton nodded. "Of course. But shower first, okay? The bathroom is the door just across from this one. You can borrow some of my clothes for now. Should I wake you for dinner?"

Roman shook his head. "No, no, I'll eat in the morning," he answered.

Patton smiled worriedly. "Okay, well… I'll go get you those clothes!"

"Goodnight," Thomas said before he and Patton left.

Roman kicked off his shoes and sat down on the bed, petting Emile's hair; the toddler whined but didn't wake.

Soon, Patton was knocking on the door. Roman stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

"Thanks, Patton," he said as he took the clothes Patton held out to him.

"Are you okay?" Patton asked gently.

Roman nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah, I just…" He sighed, running his free hand through his hair. "...What about Emile? What is he gonna do? I can't send him to school, he doesn't have his mother anymore, he can't go home…" The tears spilled over, and Patton was quick to hug him.

"Hey, hey, it's going to be okay, Kiddo," Patton said, rubbing Roman's back. "I know it's a lot, but it's gonna be okay."

Roman wiped roughly at his eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I'm… I'm glad Virgil is okay, I just…" He sniffled. "I've sacrificed my life for his."

Patton nodded sympathetically. "...Roman, do you believe that the government we live under is oppressive?"

Roman laughed bitterly through his tears. "I'm a gay man who's spent my prime married to a woman I didn't have any feelings for. I've signed death warrants for people like me and Thomas for a living for years. I know we live in an oppressive system."

"Maybe you should stay with us, then. Fight it," Patton suggested.

"I'd like to… I have to do what's best for my son… I just need to figure out what that is," Roman bemoaned.

"Well… We're all here to help. You're not alone," Patton assured him. "Shower and get some rest."

And Roman did.

For the second night in a row, he was asleep within moments of his head hitting the pillow, exhausted.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #roman centric #virgil sanders #logan sanders #emile picani #patton sanders #thomas sanders (character)#character thomas #remus sanders #i promise janus will be in the next chapter #blood #gun #gun violence #gunshot #minor character death #homophobia #roman writes

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redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years ago

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Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously.

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love. Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic.

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

#answered #heavensweetheart #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #in such moments you for a moment don't even want to vid this fandom anymore #like seems more pain in the ass than joy #but then denying smth bc of stupid ppl is also dumb #so its like I need to breathe and not go to the tags or twitter #sjws ruin everything #anime #I'd rather go spend some time in my chill fandom with less ppl but more adults

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adultswim2021 · 4 years ago

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Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law #1: "Bannon Custody Battle" December 30, 2000 - 4:30AM | S01E01 Welcome to the first episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, the first show on Adult Swim’s roster that I rejected as a substandard product. It should’ve been the Brak Show. In the opening episode, Birdman takes a case from Dr. Benton Quest, better known as Jonny Quest’s father. Race Bannon is fighting for custody of the boy, arguing that he’s a much better, much more present father figure to Jonny. Harvey Birdman was first conceptualized with an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. In the episode “Pilot” we’re shown a supposed disastrous pilot episode of “Coast to Coast” where Birdman was originally attached as the star. Birdman, a depressive, out-of-work super hero, utterly botches the job as his inability to host a late-night show due to his deriving all his powers from the sun becomes more apparent. The character recurs a few more times, most notably in the episode “Sequel”, where Birdman guest-hosts the show. Still, to call this a proper Space Ghost spin-off requires carrying a big asterisk along with it. The character name “Harvey Birdman” was invented for Space Ghost, but besides both being based on the old 60s Birdman Hanna-Barbera show, they have little to do with one another. One would get almost nothing out of watching the original Space Ghost episodes before watching this (except for, you know, getting to see episodes of a much funnier show).

So in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law you have one 60s Hanna-Barbera character as a lawyer taking court cases from various other Hanna-Barbera characters, usually of a similar vintage. In this particular episode we’re treated to a lot of jokes about the homoerotic subtext of Jonny Quest, specifically the relationship between Race Bannon and Benton Quest. The writers decide to tastefully side-step the seemingly pederast relationship between Race and Jonny. Watching the original Jonny Quest with the same attempt to subvert and recontextualize the relationships between the characters through a modern lens, a certain type of observer would probably note the amount of shirtless roughhousing Race does with Jonny. Speaking of watching Jonny Quest: I have to admit something: I never really watched Jonny Quest at all before writing this blog. I’ve had an interest in older shows and cartoons my entire life, but the entire genre of action cartoon didn’t appeal to me whatsoever when I was a kid. So last night I watched my first episode of Jonny Quest, in glorious 1080p on my new 4K television; a format it was never EVER intended to be viewed in. Jonny Quest is objectively junk. It’s fun, boyish, escapist entertainment, and there’s a lot of good irony in it, especially with it’s antiquated portrayal of other cultures from a bygone era when we were far less connected to the rest of the world. It has limited animation and simplistic design. The backgrounds look like they were painted on a post-it-note and most of the men are drawn to look like reskinned versions of Race Bannon. But there’s at least something a LITTLE charming about it. In fact, there was one moment of beautifully scripted action that absolutely won me over: Race and Jonny’s speed boat goes airborne briefly and crushes the bad guy’s boat from above as they speed towards one another. I nearly cheered when it happened. I knew The Venture Bros took liberally from Jonny Quest, but the coolest action sequences on that show seemed to be striving for the same exact visceral reaction I got from seeing Race crunch up some lizard men on a boat. Birdman is a similar deal: He was a cookie-cutter imitation of comic book heroes from the silver-age of comics (the obvious comparison here is DC’s Hawkman). I actually did watch a Birdman adventure late last night as I was falling asleep to follow up on Jonny Quest, but it felt less important. I can remember checking out the original Birdman on DVD not too long ago. Also, your typical Harvey Birdman usually focuses on jokes about shows other than Birdman. Still, it’s neat to see those characters in their original context, as well as that Hanna-Barbera stock-explosion animation we all know and love from Space Ghost blowing up Zorak on Coast-to-Coast. Also the episode I watched will be heavily referenced later, but not for this. I only watched the first episode of Jonny Quest taking a cue from my friend Kon who noted that most of the references in “Bannon Custody Battle” are directly from the first episode. The most specific (and funniest) scene in the whole show involves the Lizard Men, the main villains of that first installment. Other characters show up very briefly, and are all ones that appear in the opening sequence. Unless I find out differently (I’ll probably try to make my way through the rest of Quest in preparation for Venture Bros.), it really does seem like the writers just watched the first episode of Jonny Quest to write this show. Watching this episode of Harvey Birdman was like batting away an existential crisis. I remember vaguely at the time not being SUPER hot on this show, but I cut it a lot of slack and trusted that it would simply get funnier. I wanted to love all the shows on Adult Swim. Anyway, I went from being lukewarm on Birdman, to hating it. Reading my own earlier review of Birdman I blasted this episode for being homophobic. I used to have a very low tolerance for gay jokes, back when they were highly in fashion. But now that we live an era where there’s an arms race to find new ways to scold one another for perceived slights gay jokes can sometimes, NOT ALWAYS, be a little refreshing to hear. The fact that my stance on gay jokes can change as long as it’s in direct-opposition with the rest of the world is at least a little troubling. Does this mean I’m an inauthentic reactionary? Yes. Yes it does. There, I admitted it. Now, let me off the hook, please. I say that sorta jokingly. The gay jokes in this are mostly pretty lame, and come off like Mike Scully-era Simpsons gay jokes. The early scene at the beginning where Birdman eyes widen when he’s misunderstanding the nature of Dr. Quest’s and Race Bannon’s relationship really does come off as early 90′s homophobia. I remember it seemed out of place at the time. I’m sure it played just fine in the midwest, but the show didn’t really put it’s best foot forward with that. Speaking of lame jokes, this episode has a few that have nothing to do with insulting gay people. One of my least favorite bits involve the specific gag of undercutting a dramatic moment with characters fumbling around awkwardly in true-to-life fashion. Why, if a person tried to recreate a dramatic sting you’d see before a commercial break in real life, you’re right, it’d probably go awkwardly! But this 11 minute show has at least 3 explicit examples of this, and it’s only mildly amusing once:

Bannon dramatically walks out on Dr. Quest, after announcing his intention to take Jonny with him. He awkwardly comes back because he forgot his keys

Birdman dramatically argues with a rival prosecutor and summons his personal digital assistant, and then awkwardly fumbles with it

Birdman proves that the Race Bannon on the witness stand is actually a robot by unplugging him, but he accidentally pulls the wrong cord and has to spend a few seconds untangling and retracing the correct cord.

Another thing about Birdman is that there is usually a lack of strong jokes. The show usually includes a layer of comedy where there are simply characters who simply have odd, scattered speech patterns or odd ticks. The rival lawyer in this slurs his speech in a particular way: cut to the jury looking confused. That’s the joke. The Judge grumbles in an ornery fashion and generally acts like he doesn’t wanna be there. He says stuff that sounds like bad improv. That’s the joke. The show will only ocassionally come up with jokes to justify these character traits. It’s just silliness that doesn’t usually go anywhere. But, I do kinda like some things about this episode. It was animated by J.J. Sedelmaier, known for early digital animation seen in the crude era of Beavis and Butt-head and SNL’s TV Funhouse. They really do have their own style of comic timing, and there are some gags in this where the animation works in their favor. There are some jokes where the drawings really sell the comedy. I’m not sure if I liked this animation better or worse, but it does match the oddly-stilted Jonny Quest animation better than the episodes that came after this would have. Oh, one of the funniest bits not on the show was when I popped in the DVD I forgot that the menu music is Wesley Willis’ “Birdman Kicked My Ass”. If I were in high school when the DVD came out I would have loved it just for that reason. Same could be said “Jonny Quest Thinks We’re Sell-Outs” by Less Than Jake. I was an easily impressed kid.

#adult swim #harvey birdman attorney at law #adultswim2021

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pinkysfaultorbrainsfault · 4 years ago

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animaniacs - s3e8: don’t tread on us

i am. so sorry this is late. i wish i had a good reason but actually it was because i spent saturday night drinking bacardi with my mom. and then sunday morning throwing up all the bacardi. i have only just resumed feeling like a normal person.

haha.

episode summary: pinky and brain post racist things on facebook. no, i’m kidding and i’m sorry for the slander. they actually draft up an alternate version of the declaration of independence that names brain as supreme ruler of all things. very cool.

the rundown:

it’s boston, in 1775.

people are coming to boston for lots of reasons, such as A, they are an old timey family in old timey clothes, and B, they are elmer fudd.

“i’m hunting wedcoats!”

okay. enough of you, elmer. thankfully, the camera pans away before we’re forced to experience any more of that, and we are greeted with mice, instead.

“at last, pinky, a new world to conquer.”

“egad, brain, i forgot to turn off the lights in the old world!”

of course, back then this obviously didn’t apply to actual lights, so pinky just left a bunch of candles on. good going, pinky. it’s probably on fire by now!

unfortunately then the drunk frat boys arrive. brain helpfully informs pinky that they are “not real indians”, which scans, because india is quite a long way from boston. they’re not native americans, either, which is probably what he means.

“the colonists are revolting.”

“oh, i dunno, brain. i think the costumes are rather fetching.”

(obviously brain means revolting as in “starting a revolt”. kind of like rioting. more importantly, pinky should never be allowed to make that face again.)

WE WON’T PAY THE BRITISH TAX, yells a man off screen. the mice do not care. brain just has to keep explaining to pinky exactly what is going on around them, because if he stops being condescending for five minutes, he dies.

“they’re carried away with the spirit of independance.”

and so are they. hoo hoo.

bonk.

“ooo, earl grey. my favourite.”

thankfully, we then have a small timeskip to

PHILADELPHIA 1776

where thankfully we see that the mice have not drowned again for the second time in a row. hello, ferdinand von aegir! good to see you.

“at last, pinky. after a year of watching and waiting, it is time to put my plan into action.”

“you mean we’re finally going to learn to harmonise, get a choreographer and move to detroit?”

OOOOOH LA LA LA LA

“no.”

brain is talking about His Plan. he is finally going to ascend to his rightful position in this budding democracy!

EMPEROR.

man, i wonder when they stop doing this. does it happen in the spinoff? i don’t remember it being quite so prevalent.

but ok. ok look. so brain tells pinky about the declaration of independance.

“all the governing principles of the nation are being put into that document.”

“oh haha too bad it doesn’t say anything about you being the leader”

and brain is surprised. and then is like, oh are you pondering what i’m pondering. (”i think so brain but where do you stick the feather and call it macaroni?”) like he hadn’t thought of this originally?? so???? what was his plan going to be???? magnetise jefferson to the floor by his pocket change????

don’t look at pinky like that, you silly little man.

so anyway they go off and do that.

“we shall simply replace their declaration of independance with this! the declaration of obedience.” technically i think it’s more A Declataslion Of 9rediek, but i’ll give that to brain on the basis that he is a mouse and writing with a human pen must be hard. i’m not entirely sure i could write with materials bigger than me, either. so, yknow. no hard feelings, bee. it’s all good.

but just look at ths, though.

“we hold these truths to be self evident that-- a mouse named brain will be leader. that’s b, r, a, i, n. hoorah.”

“ooo, i like the hoorah part.”

eventually, brain figures out how to spell his own name (good for him) and they get to the crux of the plan; getting it onto the table.

via paper plane, apparently? they have a whole diagram, which is cute. brain goes and stands on the table, pinky launches the declataslion of 9rediek, and they make the switch while... the... founding fathers aren’t looking, i guess. pinky does point out that they might notice, but brain brushes him off.

because they’re all wearing those RIDICULOUS BIFOCALS invented by BEN FRANKLIN and you CAN’T SEE A THING THROUGH THEM

so, as his arch nemisis ben franklin arrives, complete with the rest of The Continental Congress Delegates, brain puts his plan into action.

“i hope the signing goes quickly, citizen adams. i have to get back to my experiments with electricity.”

(adams’ response to this is “go fly a kite”. i feel like this is important to mention.)

conclusion:

exhibit a: mousie on the shelf. he peep. brain tells pinky to get into position before plonking himself there. it’s cute.

air mouse (nyoom). upon receiving the signal, pinky launches the paper.

bonk.

woosh!

...........ah.

so. uh. turns out brain’s “meticulously calculated trajectory” was actually entirely incorrect. either that, or ben franklin’s head is just that big. but anyway, the declataslion is stuck in his stupid receding mullet, instead of on the table where it’s supposed to be.

“huh?”

meanwhile, it turns out this is not the only trajectory calculated wrong. air mice nyoom ends in the same way every single other air mice nyoom ends, and pluto has another cause of death to add to their art collection.

💚

o he fall in the inkwell

meanwhile, ben franklin finds the declataslion. he reads it, says “hmm”, and then just proceeds to steal it and run away.

but not on pinky’s watch!

or brain’s, once he manages to get out of the inkwell.

WHAT A LOVELY STORM, yells ben franklin, for no reason. in a desperate attempt to get his declataslion back, brain climbs... directly on the kite.

“pinky, follow me!” homeboy already knows what’s going to happen. cartoon sixth sense. that face.

“once i get this declaration signed, i will be a shining example of american leadership!”

oh dear.

oh no.

“are you a leader yet, brain?”

“only in the field of electric discovery.”

as jefferson pulls the big bell to let everyone know the declaration of independance has been signed!

it.... causes random parts of the mice to inflate until they vibrate themselves off the side of the building.

i don’t know either.

anyway. could brain have calculated his trajectories better? absolutely. but not only did ben franklin own slaves, and brain would never, he... also just stole some random guy’s paper and fucked off with it, which was a mean thing to do.

brain: 3 ½ pinky: 5 ½ outside influence: 9

“do you think they’ll object to changing the national currency to cheese balls?”

“once this nation’s leaders unwittingly sign it, they’ll have no choice.”

hmm.

#patb #a!#pinky and the brain #animaniacs #this was a good episode i think!#definitely better than the last one. lol

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hamiltalian-creates · 5 years ago

Text

Summary: Patton is feeling cuddly, but he doesn't want to ask outright to cuddle with Logan. Will Logan be able to figure out what he means?

Pairings: Logan x Patton

Words: 1,590

Warnings: It’s not explicitly mentioned, but Logan is autistic. That’s not so much of a warning as it is an explanation for why he can’t read the subtext to Patton’s words.

For some reason, everybody who saw the two assumed that Patton was the more openly affectionate one and Logan was the one who was shy to ask for attention. Actually, it was by far the other way around. Logan knew how much Patton loved any kind of physical affection, so there was never any reason to hesitate to ask. On the other hand, Patton knew how Logan didn’t want to be touched at times and he didn’t want Logan to think it was a problem by asking excessively, so he usually ended up being incredibly shy about it. But it wasn’t really an awkward thing. On the contrary, Logan found it to be rather adorable. That is, assuming he could actually figure out what Patton was hinting at.

Most times, Logan would be where he usually was, sitting on their couch, reading, when Patton decided he wanted to be cuddled. Today was no exception.

Logan sighed as he flipped through the pages, enjoying the quiet morning, when he noticed something move out of the corner of his eye. He glanced over and saw Patton watching him, resting his head on the armrest and presumably shift so he was sitting on his legs.

“Good morning, Patton,” he greeted simply, shooting him a small smile.

Patton smiled back brightly as always. “Good morning, Logan.”

“Did you want something?”

Patton hummed before shaking his head. “I don’t know.. I mean, it depends on how cuddly you’re feeling.” Why would he want cuddles if Logan wasn’t feeling cuddly?

Logan thought for a second before shaking his head. Cuddling was nice, but he was doing fine without it, as sweet as it was for Patton to check up on him. “I’m alright for now, thank you.” He smiled and turned back to his book.

Patton pouted, but he didn’t argue. It was Logan’s choice if he didn’t want to be cuddled. But, on the pretty good chance that Logan would feel comfortable with it soon, - which he usually was - he stayed there, resting his head on his arms as he watched Logan read in pure peace. It was so rare to see Logan looking as calm as he did, with no bags or dark circles under his eyes and his lips parted the tiniest bit as he silently read along.

Patton smiled as he watched, letting the cheesiest, loviest grin spread across his face. The two were still getting used to living together and the only major problem Patton was having was figuring out if Logan looked more adorable when he was all peaceful like this or when he was completely concentrating on something new, like when he rekindled his love for a cartoon he used to watch as a kid. It definitely wasn’t the biggest interest that Logan had found, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t completely invested.

Patton lost track of how many books about virtual reality he��d read while trying to make the concepts in the show a reality and how many times he went over the physics of being able to virtualize an entire person as well as being able to materialize a virtual character, no matter how many times the science failed him. If Logan was more of a computer science nerd than a biology nerd, Patton would've sworn that Logan would've made his own virtual world with his own self aware AI.

It was one of the favorite phases Patton saw in Logan, since it gave him a chance to allow himself to take an interest in something fictional, something childish, without being embarrassed by it in front of their friends. They were still working on getting him to admit he liked unicorns, but they both knew that Logan was going to find that one to be a lot more difficult.

Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t like he was trying to change Logan! Logan was just as beautiful when he was obsessing over the stars and over biology, but the childish glint in Logan’s eyes every time he heard the intro to the show was so out of the ordinary, so free compared to the robot that everyone expected Logan to be, Patton would be lying if he said it didn’t make him fall that much harder in love with him.

Logan glanced over as he finished that chapter, smiling as he saw Patton’s expression. He looked so happy for someone who was just kneeling on the ground, watching his boyfriend read. “You seem real smiley.. Something on your mind?”

Patton shook his head. “No, I’m just sitting here, happy.”

“I can see that,” Logan nodded.

“The only thing that would make this better would be some cuddles...” Patton knew he didn’t want to be pushy, but there was no harm in hinting at it one more time, was there?

Logan chuckled. “You do always seem to be in a cuddly mood, don’t you?” Patton talked about cuddling even when they were cuddling. It was so sweet that Logan found him making the exaggerated comparison of Patton loving cuddle time as much as Logan loved learning.

Patton nodded, leaning forward with hope.

Logan just nodded and turned back to his book, continuing to read. “You can sit on the couch, you know. Surely, it’s more comfortable than sitting on the floor like that. Of course, you can stay on the floor like that, if you prefer, but perhaps your knees would appreciate it if you at least sat in a different position?.” Patton was almost as strange as he was sweet sometimes. Virgil had told him about how it was a stereotype for gay people to sit in places that weren’t meant to be chairs or in positions that didn’t seem to be comfortable whenever Logan had found him resting on his refrigerator for the first time, but Patton didn’t usually fit that stereotype. He couldn’t think of any reason why Patton would be sitting there like that for an extended period of time. Usually, he only sat like that to ask for something and if he wanted something, he asked right away.

Patton got up and sat on the couch, sitting with his legs crossed as he watched Logan read. His legs were sore, but in his defense, he was hoping Logan would catch on sooner and that he’d have a reason to stand up and move closer sooner. But, he figured the couch was comfortable enough as he sat there, hoping to get his daily dose of Logan cuddles sooner rather than later.

Honestly though, as much as he wanted to cuddle up against Logan’s side, he hoped Logan wasn’t hiding any discomfort from him. Patton was doing his best to wait patiently, but he wasn’t a mind reader, what if Logan was feeling pressured by Patton waiting there? But he also didn’t want to walk off and seem like he’d run out of patience. Logan was so straightforward, he’d say something, right?

“Patton?” Logan asked after a few more minutes.

“Yeah?” Patton responded, sitting straight up with his hands in his lap.

“I may be wrong, but have you been asking me to cuddle this entire time?”

Patton’s eyes went wide with surprise. Did Logan honestly not realize? “Well, yeah... I thought I was being obvious enough...”

Logan sighed, the small smile on his face assuring Patton that he was far from annoyed. “Patton, you do realize that you need to be literal with me, right? I love you, but it is nearly impossible for me to interpret your words as anything besides literal. I honestly thought you were just asking if cuddling would improve my mood and commenting on how you’re always willing to cuddle. I was a bit suspicious, since you don’t usually bring it up twice in a row, but I only really figured it out because you got up when I mentioned how you were sitting.”

Patton chuckled awkwardly and scooted a bit closer. They both knew he had trouble figuring out where Logan's understanding of anything figurative ended. “Well, don’t I feel silly... I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to seem to pushy or anything.”

Logan shook his head and shifted so he was laying with his legs outstretched on the couch, opening his arms for Patton. “Asking me outright if I would be okay with cuddling is not being pushy. And, for your information, I wouldn’t mind some cuddle time.”

Patton smiled and immediately fell into his arms, resting his head on Logan’s chest and listening to his heartbeat. “Thank you..” He paused to let Logan respond, waiting a few seconds before realizing that Logan never wrapped his arms back around him. He looked up quizzically and saw that Logan’s arms were up in the air.

“I’m sorry, it’s just... Your cardigan is such a bad texture to me..” It was one of the reasons why Logan got Patton his new cat hoodie when they started getting physical enough to cuddle.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I must’ve grabbed it on accident.. I’ll be right back.” Patton ran over to his room and switched the cardigan for the cat hoodie that Logan got him - he must've accidentally put it on the wrong place when he came back from hanging out with his friends the night before - before running back into Logan’s arms, smiling as he felt Logan rest his arms on his back.

“Thank you,” Logan hummed, kissing the top of Patton’s head before getting back to reading.

Patton nodded and shut his eyes, enjoying his long awaited cuddle time.

_______________________

Let me know if you guys have any more ideas for me! <3

#sanders sides #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fic #logan sanders #ts logan #ts logic #Logic sanders #patton sanders #ts patton #ts morality #Morality sanders #logicality #fluff

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creacherkeeper · 4 years ago

Note

I'll kinda jump on the LoK/SPOP train - I LOVE LoK and Korra and Korrasami very very much and I'm very grateful for all the conversations they started and doors they opened to cartoons today. But after SPOP I'm kinda bitter Korrasami could have gotten the Catradora top notch treatment it got if it aired a few years later. Lucky me the fandom provides with awesome fanart and fanfic and the new comics are a delight! Sorry for rambling!

anon, i totally feel you. i feel exactly the same way

i feel very silly saying that that hand holding changed everything for me, but it did. it feels really silly considering how much has changed in such a short time. but the korrasami hand holding like ... blew the doors wide open, suddenly i could see through to the other side, and realized the kind of rep that was possible. it was sort of silly, because i was very very repressed and didnt know i was gay yet, but that meant like .... everything to me, for reasons that at the time i couldnt explain (literally everyone who knew me: “its bc ur gay” / me: *no thought head empty*)

i was one of those conspiracy theorists going oh my god theyre taking it off the air. theyre putting it online because theyre going to do korrasami. they cant show it on tv so theyre putting it online because its going to be gay. which in hindsight is ... pretty sad, huh? ^^’ but like ... i wasnt even that wrong. because even online, all they were allowed to show was a few moments of holding hands

so then watching she ra i was just ....... so emotional. because look how far we’ve come??? lok finale was only 5 1/2 years ago, and all we got was hand holding!! and in that time, so many people were so brave and so devoted and fought so hard ....... and we got steven universe. we got dragon prince. we got she ra

and that makes me really emotional, and, in some selfish ways, kind of upset! on the fandom side, god yeah korra and asami really did deserve better, huh? so grateful to the comics, so grateful to the fandom, but ... man we could have had it all

on the personal side ..... literally what would i have done if i’d had these shows as a kid? who would i have been if i had queer rep, wlw rep, lesbian rep on my tv when i was still in formative years, before i absorbed all that repression and guilt and shame. i dont try to deny it, my childhood was bad. it sucked. and i was mostly raised by tv. specifically, avatar the last airbender was an incredibly formative part of my childhood. how much earlier would i have figured myself out if i had a show like she ra when i was 10, like i had avatar? how much of a difference would that have made in my queer journey?

wow, this became incredibly long winded as i always do when talking about queer rep but ..... to sum. while im incredibly grateful for what korrasami did for childrens media, and even if im not actively talking about it, know that i think of it with incredible fondness and they are always in my heart ... like you i do wonder what we could have gotten if things were different. if queer rep was in a different place at the time, if lok was made just a few years later. we needed every single stepping stone we got, because without the work of lok, su, and other shows who were fighting for this rep, we wouldn’t have gotten catradora, and i understand that. but im also like. man. looking back, my girls deserved better. child luka deserved better. on the other hand. man, look how far we’ve come :’)

#lok #she ra #spop #she ra spoilers #spop spoilers #Anonymous

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pocketseizure · 4 years ago

Text

Disneybound

Case #0180602. Statement of Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange experience at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on June 2, 2018.

Jonathan takes the statement of someone whose memories may not accurately reflect the events of his childhood. He then has a short conversation with Martin and learns something (perhaps not so) surprising about Elias.

The events of this story take place after Episode 103, "Cruelty Free" (the one in which Jon reads the statement of a farmer in New Zealand with a monster pig).

( This story is also on AO3. )

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jon cast a level gaze at the American sitting on the other side of the table. He was fit and clean-shaven, and he appeared to be in his early thirties. He wore a wide grin and a bright red shirt depicting Minnie Mouse posing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Jon sighed and pressed the record button of his tape recorder.

“Statement of Theodore Nakamura – ”

“Call me Ted, please. Or Teddy, if you like. All my friends do.”

“Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange phenomenon he experienced at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disney World – ”

“Sorry, but it’s ‘Disneyland.’ Disney World is the one in Florida.”

“In Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on May 25, 2018.”

“This is exciting! I love the detail you’ve devoted to authenticity. The tape recorder is a nice touch.”

Jon grimaced. “Statement begins.”

A hint of uncertainty crept into Ted’s smile. “I’ve never done this before. Is there a protocol? Maybe some sort of standard introduction I should start with?”

“Just tell me about the incident you came to report. You can start whenever you’re ready.”

“All right, I’ll start at the beginning.”

Ted clapped his hands on his knees and took a deep breath. Jon watched as his eyes made a brief circuit around the densely packed shelves arranged in disorderly rows at the rear of the room before finally coming to rest on one of the objects jammed between the accordion folders and cardboard boxes. He’d witnessed this process often enough that he could pinpoint the object of the man’s attention – a cloudy snow globe with a tarnished metal base. It wasn’t connected to any of the cases on file in the archives, merely something Gertrude had brought back from one of her travels on a whim.

“I guess you could say that I’m not the sort of person who would be the star of a Disney movie,” Ted began. “I’m not an orphan, and I had a happy childhood. My mother was an architect who moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles during the construction boom of the 1980s, and my father went to business school at UCLA and never left. His family is from Seattle, and they made some money in real estate in the 1990s. We’re comfortably middle class, but I went to one of the big public schools in Orange County.”

He paused, seeming to expect some sort of reaction. When it became clear that no such reaction was forthcoming, he continued.

“Even in LA, where everyone tries to stand out, high school was all about belonging to a group. I didn’t have any interest in the grandstanding of my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, and I didn’t have the looks or the talent for the student theater club, which is where a lot of kids like me spent a year or two on their way out of the closet. Mostly I kept my grades up and my head down as my circle of friends from middle school gradually went their separate ways.

“My mom worked from home, and she made sure our house had the first high-speed internet connection in my neighborhood. I don’t mind admitting that I spent a lot of time online. I posted an embarrassing number of bad stories about cartoon characters on LiveJournal, and I eventually ended up being invited to join a popular Disney fan community moderated by a friend of a friend. All the people I spoke with on the comm were strangers, at least at first, but we gradually got to know one another as we responded to each other’s posts and comments.

“Between one thing and another, we somehow managed to figure out that most of us were the same age. Oddly enough, a lot of us lived in SoCal, so we decided to meet up over the summer at Disneyland. Everyone showed up, and we had a great time. We met again the next summer, and then again after my senior year.

“Nothing bad happened, but I stopped updating my LiveJournal after that. I went to college in New York, got a job in the city, and fell out of touch with most of my online friends.

“I moved back to LA four years ago, not that I do anything glamorous. I manage the back end of a tech company’s website and intranet, mostly database stuff, but I still have an IG account. I started it just for fun, but I joined early and picked up more than a thousand followers in less than a year. Someone suggested that it would be cool for me to visit to Disneyland and post photos, so I thought, why not? Like, I love Disneyland!”

Jon cleared his throat. “And what is this ‘strange incident’ you came to report?”

“Hold your horses, I’m getting to it. It’s important that you know my background, right? What I’m trying to say is that I’d only been to Disneyland three times before. It wasn’t a major part of my life. But it was a good part of my life – that’s important.”

Jon nodded in acknowledgment. “Very well, then. Duly noted.”

“Disneyland was considered to be a little seedy when I was in high school, but it’s gotten fancy in the past ten years or so. It used to be that you could just walk in, but these days you practically have to make an itinerary. So I did some research, got a group of people together, and we went and saw the sights. Everyone wore an outfit to match the style of a character, and we took a lot of pictures. The photos were so popular that I hit 5k followers in less than 24 hours, can you believe it? Everyone and their sister is into DisneyBounding these days, but picking up that sort of following from on-location fashion photos was still a thing you could do in 2015.

“Like I said, I had a happy childhood, but no one ever paid me that sort of attention. It was such a dopamine hit, you have no idea. Or maybe you do?”

Jon grit his teeth. “Please continue with the statement.”

Ted laughed. “Pushy, aren’t you? But that’s all right. It’s weird, but I feel like I can tell you anything. Has anyone ever said that to you before?”

“You’re not the first.”

“Maybe it’s the librarian thing you’ve got going on – or archivist thing, sorry. Puts me right at ease. And I appreciate that. If there’s an adult who willingly goes to Disneyland for fun, especially someone like me, people tend to think that’s creepy. The therapist I was seeing at the time called it ‘Peter Pan Syndrome,’ of all things. I never went to another appointment with her again, but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that I kept going back to Disneyland, usually with friends but sometimes with my boyfriend, who I met on Insta. We bonded while sharing theories about the Haunted Mansion, which is… Well, it used to be my favorite ride in the park. It still is, I guess, but I can’t go on it anymore.

“It took me long enough to get here, but this is the part of my story that should interest you. The reason I like the Haunted Mansion is because it reminds me of my mother, who passed away from a heart attack while I was living in New York. It was very sudden, completely out of the blue, and I never got to say good-bye. I never cared about the Haunted Mansion when I was in high school – we all thought it was cringe for some silly teenage reason that probably involved how awkward it would be if we were in the dark with each other. It wasn’t until I visited the park again as an adult that I finally went on the ride. When I did, I had this sudden flashback to a childhood memory.

“I must have gone to Disneyland with my parents when I was young, because standing in the dark and listening to the music made me recall being on the ride with my mother. This was during the lead-up, before you get in the Doom Buggies and begin the ride proper. I remember being absolutely terrified by what I thought was an endless maze. I felt like that line, after it entered the building, lasted forever. Kids can be like that sometimes, but my memory of this is crystal clear – the corridor genuinely didn’t end. I felt like there were people all around us, there had to be, but somehow it was just me and my mother, alone in the darkness.

“And then I remember that this terrible thing appeared out of nowhere. I’m not sure how to describe it. It definitely wasn’t a person in a costume, but it was too realistic to be the projection of a cartoon, and it was talking to us in voice that sounded like laughter and crying at the same time. Like it was hurt, but it found its pain amusing. Meanwhile, the walls kept stretching, and as they got taller I started to see awful things in the gaps between the ceiling and the floor.

“My mother held my hand the whole time. She kept whispering to me: ‘It’s going to be okay. You are brave, and you are strong. Nothing in here can hurt you.’ Just that, over and over, until the ride was over.

“When we finally got out, I ran straight to my dad, who knelt down on the pavement on the other side of the gate and hugged me. He and my mother both patted my back as I cried. I was so relieved to be outside again that my tears wouldn’t stop.

“My dad seemed confused by how afraid I was. This didn’t occur to me until I started thinking about it much later, but isn’t it strange that he didn’t understand why a young child would be frightened by a scary ride?

“I moved back to LA almost immediately after my mom’s funeral, but Dad became a little distant with me. We were both grieving, and it must have seemed callous to him that I was posting shots of myself at Disneyland on social media right after Mom died. Really I just needed a break from the move, from my job, from mourning, from everything – and I guess a part of me felt like my mother would never die as long as I kept returning to that memory of her holding my hand in the Haunted Mansion.

“My dad eventually moved on and married a younger woman. She would probably be my evil stepmother if my life were a Disney movie, but she’s actually a princess, and I adore her. I spend more time with her than I do with my dad these days, but I’m trying to do better. I thought I could reconnect with him if I took him along with me on a visit to the park, but he turned down my invitation. He told me he enjoyed my photos, but that he had never been to Disneyland and had no interest in going. Too many screaming children, he said.

“That was a surprise to me, so I told him about my memory of the Haunted Mansion. While I was talking, his face went completely pale. I don’t mean that as a figure of speech – it was like all the blood had been drained from his skin.

“He insisted that he had never been to Disneyland with me and my mother, but then he told me something strange. When I was about five years old, we went to visit his family in Seattle. My grandfather had just taken on management of a property in Capitol Hill, one of the old Gothic Revival mansions that used to be common there before the neighborhood gentrified. It was an old house, almost as old as the city itself, but my grandfather was having trouble finding potential buyers. The property had been designed by the student of a famous British architect by the name of Robert Smirke, and he wanted my mother to come take a look. Do a walkthrough, point out any potential areas of interest and value, that sort of thing.

“According to my father, my mother had a bad experience in that house. She refused to talk about it with him or anyone else, and she never went back to Seattle. She took me along with her on her tour of the property, and I was apparently just as upset as she was when we came out, even though my dad says we spent less than ten minutes inside. If I thought this place was the Haunted Mansion, and if the ride at Disneyland evoked such a strong memory, it makes me wonder – what did we see in that house?

“I checked with my grandfather, and he said the property never did find a buyer. The only person who seemed seriously interested was a British woman by the name of Gertrude Robinson. Shortly after she made inquiries, the place burned down. Imagine my surprise when I ran a search and learned that this Gertrude Robinson was employed by an institute dedicated to paranormal research.

“So,” Ted concluded, meeting Jon’s eyes, “I gave you my statement. I hope it will be useful to you. I was wondering what you could tell me in return.”

“Not much, I’m afraid. As you can see, we’re still in the process of organizing our records. We’ll investigate to the best of our abilities and contact you if we learn anything.”

“I would love that, thank you. Well, you have my information so…”

“We’ll be in touch. I believe I see my assistant Melanie hovering around. She used to have a large following on social media herself. I’m sure she’d be happy to show you outside.”

“So you’re from LA,” Jon heard Melanie say as she held the door open. Ted directed his dazzling smile at her, which she returned before allowing the door to slam shut behind them.

“Statement ends,” Jon muttered as listened to their conversation growing fainter. He ended the recording and leaned back in his chair.

“Any thoughts you’d like to share, Martin?”

“Oh, I, um,” Martin stammered. “I didn’t want to interrupt the, you know. The statement.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he emerged from between the shelves.

“It’s fine, Martin. It was a relief. To know that you were listening.”

“I’m sorry, I… What? It was?”

“I’ve never been good with people like that.”

“People like… Wait, excuse me?”

“People who are so…” Jon made a vague gesture to illustrate his point. “Sunny. Bright. Content. When someone comes here to make a statement, they’re usually upset.”

“Ah, right. I can see what you mean. But he looks like he just got back from a trip to the happiest place on earth.”

“The happiest place on earth?”

“You know, Disneyland Paris.”

“Disneyland Paris? They finished construction?”

“A few decades ago, actually.”

Jon sympathized with Ted Nakamura’s father. Between the crowds and the relentless sunshine, he couldn’t imagine a more ghastly location, and by this point he considered himself something of an expert on cursed geography.

“I don’t suppose we’ll have to go there ourselves to investigate,” he said, making an attempt to smile. He failed. His muscles were still tense from the process of taking a statement, and his face felt frozen.

“Really? You… want to go to Disneyland Paris? I suppose I could come too, I mean, if it’s not…”

Jon was alarmed by how red Martin’s face was becoming. Did Martin want to go to a theme park? Jon didn’t know much about Disneyland – or Paris, for that matter – but his childhood had been unusual, to say the least. He’d never asked, but Martin’s family couldn’t have been much if he had nowhere to sleep but down here in the archives. Perhaps he could use a vacation. Perhaps they both could.

Jon turned to face his assistant. “Martin, I…”

“Did someone say Disneyland Paris?”

Jon frowned. “Does this conversation interest you, Elias?”

“I heard you were planning a trip. You really must go sometime. It’s fantastic, quite the experience. I went myself, back in 1996.”

Elias made a quick series of taps on the screen of his phone before holding it out in front of him. Jon and Martin leaned forward to get a better look.

In the photo, Elias was posing next to someone wearing a Mickey Mouse costume. He wore an aloha shirt over denim shorts, and he was grinning from ear to ear. The camera had caught him in the act of pulling a tall man with a square jaw and a severe expression into the frame. The image quality was poor, but the man seemed far too pale for the summer sunshine.

Jon’s frown deepened. “And that is…?”

“Oh, this is Peter. You’ll meet him soon enough, I’m sure.”

“Do you, um. Do you go to Disneyland often, then?” Martin asked.

“Just the once. Peter lost a bet, you see.”

“Right.” Jon couldn’t put his finger on it, but he had a bad feeling about this.

“I wouldn’t mind going back. We could all go together, make an office party of it. It would be fun. You do know what fun is, don’t you, Archivist?”

Martin’s eyes darted between Elias and Jon. “I don’t think it’s safe to…”

“Come now,” Elias interrupted. “Would you have any reason not to?”

“China.”

“Excuse me?”

“China. I need to follow up on a statement, something Gertrude was looking into before she traveled to New Zealand.”

“Excellent. I’m glad that’s settled. I’ll leave you to your preparations, then.”

“Damn it.” Jon clenched his fists on the table as Elias left. A trap had been set, and he’d walked right into it.

“Don’t feel bad,” Martin said, oddly perceptive. After everything they’d been through, Jon was coming to appreciate that about him. “At least we know that Elias is still human. He likes Disneyland, after all.”

Jon wasn’t convinced that a fondness for theme parks qualified someone as being ‘human,’ but what would he know? He had to admit that Elias was right about one thing – it would do him good to get out of the archives.

“Are you really going to China, then?”

“I suppose I am.” Jon removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead.

“I’ve always wanted to go someplace like that, somewhere far away,” Martin said, his eyes darting to the tape recorder on the table. “I’d like to hear about it. If you don’t… If you don’t mind, of course. Maybe I could, I mean, we could go out for a coffee together. After you get back.”

“All right,” Jon replied, replacing his glasses. That would be rather nice, actually. “After I get back.”

#The Magnus Archives #Jonathan Sims #Martin Blackwood #Elias Bouchard #Haunted Mansion #full episode format #canon compliant #ghost stories #my fic

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burgundyquills · 5 years ago

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Ok, I’m gonna rant a little about SUF because I’ve got some Emotions™ and some thoughts that I want to put into words, so to my good like 5 followers: feel free to ignore me

I first found Steven Universe some years ago when it first started airing. 2013. Dude, that’s 7 whole years ago. I didn’t pay any attention to it. Sure I caught an episode or two now and then, but I guess I usually changed the channel if it was on. I was more into Gravity Falls and video games anyway. I remember vaguely at some point I thought about watching it but it would take time and effort to get into it and it didn’t catch my eye, so I never did.

A few years later, I found the music. I never got into the whole soundtrack, but I loved listening to a select few songs. They always made me feel better. I remember playing Here Comes a Thought on a car ride home from the therapy sessions I used to go to.

At the end of last summer, I stayed for a week at a house on the beach with some family members. I left all my technology except for my Nintendo switch at home, so I eventually ran out of stuff to do. We were looking through the tv and since I haven’t really watched tv in some years, Cartoon Network was one of the only channels that I remembered the number for. Apparently they were playing all of the SU episodes in a marathon leading up to the movie. It was weird to realize I remembered so much of it. I tuned in every once in a while and saw that there was a plot and the show got better as it went on. I remember I got really into it when the episode with Here Comes a Thought came around. It was a weird realization that maybe the show was good. I started watching the series from the start when I got home the next week, skipping a few episodes I saw the week before. I got really into it, it was so weird for a show to have lgbtq+ representation, complex characters, good music, and good messages. It really helped me cope with some depression and junk, the show has always been so wholesome and delightful. I watched the movie a day or two after it came out and the songs really started getting stuck in my head. I’d be watering some plants and humming Other Friends or making myself a snack while listening to True Kinda Love. I searched through Tumblr and found a bunch of really interesting theories and AUs which I’ve been keeping an eye on.

I remember watching The Test and seeing Steven not even say anything about how the Gems lied to him. It really stood out to me. I thought that was super mature of him, I figured I’d be nice about it but there’s no way I would be able to let something like that slide, even if they were trying to help him. I’ve seen someone on here point out how that shows his self-sacrificing nature and how he doesn’t want to advocate for his needs/feelings because he’s afraid to be a burden. Weird how idolizing that action may reflect my own tendency to be too scared to advocate for myself for the same reasons?

Anyways

Future rolled around and I loved that it was a little darker, focusing on Steven and his problems. To see mental health portrayed accurately in a show? A kid’s cartoon? Wild.

To relate to it? Wild.

It’s such a sharp feeling to have a show you’ve grown to love, a voice you’ve grown to trust, tell you that you can’t bottle up your emotions. Like yeah, everyone says the whole “you gotta trust ur friends and family! you’re not a burden!!” but it’s honestly easier to believe when it’s presented like this.

Imagine taking advice from a children’s show when you can’t accept that very same advice from friends, family, and actual experts?

Yeah. Some of it hits real close to home and I’m obviously not the only person on here to think that. It’s nice to see that the show means so much to so many people.

Am I gonna miss it? Absolutely, but I’m satisfied to see it end like this. I may only have been a fan for a few months, but it’s grown on me like fungi grows on a tree. Is it flawed? Of course it is! But it was good. I liked it. Am I afraid to admit that to the people in my life, to my friends? Yeah. I’ve been afraid to tell people I like anything because people are so quick to shit on other peoples’ interests. People will find a flaw in anything and decide the whole thing is cringe or bad and judge the people who support it. Yes, it’s kind of silly. Yes, it’s kind of childish. Yes, the writing is flawed. Yes, there’s a lot of stuff that goes unaddressed or simply doesn’t make sense.

So?

Nothings perfect, dude. Relax. Let people let what they like. Let us take refuge in a cartoon because it helps us feel better. Respect that this is slightly breaking down the art block and burn-out I’ve been dealing with for a few years. It’s scary that art and writing, two things I’ve loved for ages, don’t seem appealing anymore. If a cute little show about space and gay rock-people and ice cream sandwiches motivates me to doodle something or write this dumb rant? Maybe it’s okay. If it makes us share some of our feelings or past traumas or get some real help when we’re scared to be a burden? Maybe it’s okay. I mean, I sure think it is.

#SU #suf #steven universe #steven universe future #ramble #rant #emotion dump #kinda personal?#not a vent #not a shitpost

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